Life has a way of taking us down paths we weren’t expecting. I wasn’t always a “Medical Mom”. I used to be just a “mom”. Nine years ago, that suddenly changed, and I was thrown into a world I had no idea how to manage. I’ll be honest, it hasn’t been the smoothest ride. Learning to keep track of all the medical and therapy appointments, talking to insurance companies and case managers, managing medications, plus all the normal tasks of life, has been a difficult process.

One of the simplest ways I have found to manage it all, and reduce the strain on my brain, is to keep it all in one place.
I do this with a planner, but you could use a 3-ring binder, caregiver command center, a digital system, or a combination of them. The important thing isn’t making it Pinterest-Perfect. The goal is being able to find what I need, when I need it. Because when I am standing at the pharmacy counter or on the phone with a nurse, it’s not the ideal time to wonder which notebook the information is in.

I don’t always get it right; in fact, I’ve messed up many times over the last nine years. Missed appointments, forgotten medications, late paperwork. You name it, and I have likely messed it up at least once. Thankfully, I am continually learning and refining ways to manage it all. I am sharing some of my best tips and strategies to help you manage the tough seasons with less chaos and more peace—because peace is absolutely what I need, and I am pretty sure you do, too.

1. Medical Mom Life changed the way I organize and structure my time.

It didn’t take me long to realize the way I had always done things wasn’t working anymore. I can start the morning with a plan, and before I have rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, the doctor’s office is on the phone, I forgot about a prescription I need to pick up, and a case manager scheduled an unexpected appointment.

Then there are all the “normal” parts of life like laundry piling up, bills that need to be paid, and somehow dinner needs to appear on the table, (That’s one of the hard ones for me). Then, there are birthdays, family, friends, (if there are any left), and people keep telling me to take care of myself. As a medical mom, I am sure you can relate.

For a long time I thought being more organized meant getting better at sticking to a schedule. If I planned correctly, everything would work smoothly. But caregiving doesn’t work that way. Appointments get added, procedures get rescheduled. One phone call or ER visit can change the plan for the entire week.

As a medical mom, I have learned that managing life isn’t really just about creating the perfect schedule. Believe me, I tried! It’s about creating structure that helps me manage a life that refuses to fit into a perfect schedule.

2. Start with the things that matter most.

As a Medical Mom, I had to learn a different kind of planning. I need a way to plan that leaves room for real life. I realized that I need to add flexibility into my plans rather than feeling like I messed up when things didn’t go according to the plan.

Some days I accomplish a lot. Some days are filled with making and answering phone calls, ordering groceries, making sure the meds are given, and just making it through the day. I experience both types of days every week, and it’s okay.

Here are some practical ways you can give yourself a little space to breathe and make your life feel just a bit less chaotic:

Instead of starting my day with a giant To-Do list, (which I tend to do— it works better if I start by asking myself a few questions:
What absolutely needs my attention today?
What would be helpful if I have time and energy?
What can wait?

Giving myself permission to intentionally move things to a different day is very different from feeling like I failed to get it done.

3. Keep all the important things in one place

Medical caregiving comes with an incredible amount of information:

• Medication lists
• Provider names and phone numbers
• Appointment Lists
• Insurance Information
• Symptoms
• Questions for specialists
• Therapy schedules
• Test Results
• Things to ask at the next appointment…

And somehow I am supposed to know where to find it all right when I need it.

4. Create a bare minimum plan with systems for things I do repeatedly

This may be one of the most helpful tips for calming the chaos.. Decide ahead of time, what my bare minimum looks like.

When things are relatively calm, I have routines for meal planning, cleaning, work, errands, appointments, and self care.
When medical life gets especially chaotic, trying to maintain all of those routines feels very overwhelming.

A bare minimum plan might look like:
-Keeping medications and essential medical care on track.
-Handling only the truly time sensitive paper work and phone
calls.
-Make sure everyone has something to eat.
-Keep enough clean laundry ready.
-Let the rest wait.

A bare minimum plan isn’t the forever plan, it’s a strategy to manage the hardest days. No more pressure or feelings of failure.

5. Remembering I am a person, too

This has been a difficult one for me, and I am still working on it. When someone I love has significant medical needs, it becomes incredibly easy for their care to consume every available space in my day.

Calendars become lists of what everyone else needs from me, but caregivers (YOU and ME) have needs also. Forgetting to care for myself always catches up to me, and it is usually at a very inconvenient time.

Self Care doesn’t always have to mean a spa day or a weekend away, although those would be amazing! They may be completely unrealistic in the current season of life.

How can I, as a medical mom, actually practice self-care? I have learned to take advantage of very small open spaces in the day. Here are some examples of how I have practiced self-care in the midst of difficult times:

• Sitting quietly with your coffee (actually I hate coffee) for 10 minutes
• Going outside in the sunshine for 5-10 minutes
• Reading a few pages of a book or bible study
• Listening to worship music
• Texting a friend
• Getting some extra sleep when you have the opportunity

Small things really do matter.

6. Letting My Planning System Serve Me (and not the other way around.)

One of the biggest lessons I have learned:

My planner is supposed to work for ME. I am not supposed to work for my planner.

If my planning system makes me feel behind and always trying to catch up, it’s probably not the right system for me. As a Medical Mom, I need flexibility.

I need places for medical information, emergency plans, along side the grocery lists and appointments. I need room for priorities, notes, prayers, goals, and the thousand little details I am trying hard not to forget.

Sometimes I have needed to change my planning system when my season changes…and that’s okay. In the beginning of this journey, I was purchasing a new kind of planner every month or two, thinking I would find the perfect one that worked for me. I didn’t end up finding one that worked for long, because it seemed my needs were always changing. That’s the reason why I have become passionate about creating flexible planning tools for caregivers.

My own life has taught me that I don’t need a planner to show me all things I haven’t been able to accomplish. I already know what I haven’t done, I just need an organized way to manage it all.

A schedule without any margin can fall apart with one unexpected appointment. Whenever possible I try not to fill every space. Leaving margins (small blocks of time or blank space) gives me somewhere to move things when life changes. Planning for flexibility does not mean I am expecting the worst, it is just acknowledging the reality of living in this season

7. Giving Myself Grace For Each Season I Am In.

There is a difference between planning the life I wish I had, and planning for the life I am actually living. This one was hard for me. I wanted things to be different. I wanted it to be pretty. But I felt like my schedule was always a mess. Medical Mom life may include some beautifully ordinary days, exhausting days, hospital days, productive days, waiting room days, and days when absolutely nothing goes as planned.

My planning system needs enough grace for all of those days. Some weeks I use every page in my planner, and other weeks, I may barely have time to open it. I haven’t failed either way. The goal isn’t to perfectly manage every piece of my complicated life. The goal is to create enough structure so that when life gets messy (and we both know it will), I have somewhere to begin again, and sometimes, that simply means turning the page.

8. I learned I LOVE Printable Planners because it is easy to make them as flexible as I need them to be.

There is no “Perfect Planner.” There is only the planner that helps me (and YOU) care for the people we love, make room for the things that matter, and remember that my own life lives in these pages too. I created a planner with multiple layouts that I can print and change out whenever I find something isn’t working well. I use a disc-bound planner (just like a Happy Planner), and I love teaching people how to create and use them.

This is the why behind FaithLife Planners. I know what the chaos feels like. I have been in the same chair, exhausted and crying, too. If sharing my experiences, my wins (and losses) helps even one person, it will be worth it. It also allows me to create something I found missing from most planners on the market: encouragement and practical ways to keep my faith in front of me. I would love to encourage your faith through Scriptures, journaling, and space for sermon notes. (Even if you have to watch on TV, like I do.) That’s actually where the name came from. I found in all of the chaos of caregiving that it is so easy to neglect my faith. By adding a faith section, Scriptures, and other resources in the planner, it puts my faith in front of me each day.

Different seasons of caregiving require different levels of planning support. There isn’t one right way to plan Medical Mom life. That’s why I am so excited about FaithLife Planners for Medical Moms and Caregivers. I am working on a new line of planning products just for you this fall.

You can make sure you don’t miss out on new blogs, or upcoming events and products to help simplify a little bit of your caregiving chaos by joining my email list.

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Remember:
Your Planner Serves You —You Don’t Serve Your Planner.